You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
