Soap is not a condiment
I can text with my tongue
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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