I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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