Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
