Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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