And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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