she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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