Swine flu. Run for my life!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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