You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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