it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
