Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
