she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize