btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
