Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
