Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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