well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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