I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
