If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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