she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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