Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
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