I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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