Can Purell be used as lube?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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