just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
