She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
