I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
