that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
