don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
