Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Let's get the cat blown out
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
