i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
