I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
