i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize