i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
