my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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