Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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