Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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