She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
