your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Randomize
