if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
