stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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