nut hugger
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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