When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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