i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
