I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
