I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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