She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
