Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I have already put on my inside pants.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
