After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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