Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
