went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
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