I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
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its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
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I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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