hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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