there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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