I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
