I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
