he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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