whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
